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Summer is here! Now What?

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School is OUT and summer is here. It’s hot outside and you don’t know what to do with the kids. Many people dread this time of year because there can be a lot of boredom and frustration, and too much screen time!

Most of us thrive on some sort of structure. After a few days of freedom, it may be time to get into a routine. Whether the child is home with a parent or a sitter, here is an idea that might help everyone feel happier and more productive.

Try the time-chunking method. Create and name chunks of time that you can either use consistently each day or move around when you have other appointments. Here are a few ideas to illustrate the principle; however, the possibilities for “chunks” are endless!

1. Chore time–everyone pitches in to do a few things around the house. It can be very short and might include you pushing your child around in a laundry basket! Get a few things done, but don’t stress!
2. Outing time–pick a place to go everyday that will get you out of the house for at least a little while. Go somewhere that has air conditioning, like the public library, the museum, Chick-Fil-A, Little Gym, or a family member or friend’s house. Try to stay out for a couple of hours.
3. Craft time–play with playdoh, construction paper, markers, paints (make the medium different each day). This may be something that the child can do independently, freeing up time for mom or dad to start a meal.
4. Outside time–Figure out when the outside temperature is bearable and, if developmentally appropriate and safe, send your kiddos out to play. Give them ice or water activities that can keep them cool, including spray bottles, plastic hammers and pieces of ice, and side walk chalk. Of course, bikes, scooters, and running through sprinklers can be so much fun!
5. Cooking/Baking time–This might be a tough one to incorporate every day, but could be a fun add-in. Your child can help out with cooking or baking tasks. Give him/her a job such as being “the Measurer” or “the Pourer” or “the Stirrer.”
6. Reading time–This means that it is time to look at books, read books together, listen to audiobooks or act out stories.
7. Screen time–If your child is old enough and loves doing things on the phone or tablet, or has his/her favorite shows, designate a chunk of time for this. If the child knows there is a designated beginning and end, they will be less likely to beg you all day for the iPad.

In order to get used to time chunks, you may initially have to be very actively involved, showing the child the many things they can do during these times and teaching them about how the time chunks work. Using a timer and a visual schedule can help support your child’s understanding of what the day will look like and the predictability of the day. Use a whiteboard or bulletin board to draw or post pictures that indicated what “chunks” will be happening that day. As the child gets used to what the different time chunks mean and how long they last, he or she will enjoy the predictability of it and may become more independent, allowing caregivers to have more time to take care of other responsibilities.

Here’s to a fun and productive summer!

Does my child need THERAPY???!!!

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My child seems like maybe he is behind; can he catch up on his own? How long should we wait to see if he can catch up? Can we do anything at home to help him catch up before pursuing therapy?

My child seems more clumsy than the other kids in her class; does that mean she needs therapy or just that she won’t be the star athlete?

My child’s teacher says my child is having trouble keeping up in class and is having trouble with writing; is the school program too hard or is my child developing behind his classmates?

These are questions that many parents ask themselves but that often go unanswered. Determining whether your child needs therapy can be tricky. Every child is different, with different strengths and different challenges. And while development follows a general pattern, figuring out if your child’s challenges are significant enough to warrant therapy is not always easy to decipher. Fortunately, there are many resources that can help a parent decide whether she should have her child evaluated.

The internet has a wealth of information, but sometimes the amount of information can be overwhelming,  contradictory, or unclear, especially when there is expected variation in typical childhood development.  One website that offers valuable, accurate, and clearly presented information in the form of checklists and videos is pathways.org.  This website emphasizes development in the first three years of life and helps parents determine whether their child is on track.  In addition it provides tips and games to play with baby from week-to-week until two years of age, just by entering the baby’s birthdate.  This is a great resource for parents, especially if parents have concerns that their baby or toddler may be behind on developmental milestones.

For school aged children, there is an even greater variety in abilities, as well as in academic programs, making it even more difficult to discern whether a child’s difficulties are enough to warrant therapy.  If you are having concerns regarding your school-age child’s development, please fill out the checklist at https://goo.gl/forms/7XeBDibk3d6Co0na2. The checklist is a list of red flags related to a child’s performance at home and at school. If you find that several of the red flags pertain to your child, a pediatric occupational therapist may be able to help you determine if your child needs therapy or if there are some things that can be done at school or at home to help him be more successful. A pediatric occupational therapist can help you discern where the line is between worry and need for action.

As a parent, there are many things to worry about when it comes to your child.  Just because your child is having some challenges, it doesn’t always have to mean that he is behind developmentally or academically.  When a child is demonstrating some difficulties, it may not necessarily be an indication that the child will have difficulty throughout his academic career either.  Pediatric occupational therapists (OTs) are specialists in child development, including the developmental milestones that impact academic performance, such as visual motor skills, fine motor skills, handwriting, and coordination that impacts executive functioning and organizational skills.  They are also devoted to helping children and families succeed, making pediatric OTs a wonderful resource for families that are trying to help their children excel. Many clinics offer free phone consultations to help the families discern if therapy is the next step.  If the OT feels that therapy may be necessary, it can be a wonderful experience and great tool to support your child with any struggles he may be enduring.   Therapy can also support you, the parent, in offering strategies to support your child at home and in the classroom, not only now, but in the future.

If you have questions, please don’t hesitate to contact an OT; they are ready to offer any support they can to help your child.

 

Allison LeBouef, LOTR, is a mom of 2 and has been a practicing pediatric occupational therapist since 2002.  She is the co-owner of Pediatric Therapy and Learning Center, LLC, in Lafayette, LA where she assesses and treats children of all ages, works diligently with parents, supervises other OT clinicians, and trains students and new graduates. She is SIPT-certified and has traveled around the country to attend the best courses and mentorships available in her field.

Mom Guilt

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Mom guilt. Such a familiar term these days. But where does mom guilt come from? Why do so many moms fall victim to it? Is it worse now than it was when our mothers were raising children?

For me, the internet is a blessing and a curse. It helps me answer the question of how much medicine I can give to my coughing child at 2 am. It reassures me that a quotient really is the answer to a division problem while I’m helping my child study for math. But the downside of the internet is it shows me what moms all around the country are doing. It depicts gorgeous back drops for a pre-k class party. Articles on Google or social media share dietary tricks , multi-vitamin do’s and dont’s, how to make sure your house is the cleanest it can be, how and when you should get your baby to sleep through the night….  it’s all informative…and exhausting! So not only do we have to figure out how to keep these little people alive, but we have to make sure they have a wonderful, well-adjusted childhood where they get the best education so that they can become citizens of this hustling, bustling world and start to raise well-adjusted children of their own! Whew!!

Enter mom guilt.

Mom guilt is the feeling that you’re not meeting the expectations of what a mom should be, therefore disappointing your future adult child by not affording him/her of the best childhood experience available. And we all do it! Do I work too much? Do I spend enough quality time with my child? Do I not spend enough time away from him? Do I have a stronger bond with one child over another? Do my kids watch too much TV? Do they spend too much time on electronic devices? Are they getting enough physical activity? Is he getting the best nutrition from his diet? Does my daughter have the basis for a good body image? Is my son learning how to treat women with respect? Do I savor these crazy moments that everyone tells me I will one day miss? So many questions…so few answers.

What complicates this story more is having a child with disabilities. There are thousands of other moms out there to compare how you should be being a mom when you have a neurotypical child, but who do you look to when you have a child with special needs? These moms are special people, because unfortunately for them, mom guilt gets amped up even higher! I am  this child’s mom! What did I do to cause these problems my child now has to endure? How and what can I do to make this child’s life easier? How can I be frustrated with this child that needs extra help??

Moms, you are not alone!!!! We are all guilty of not cutting ourselves enough slack. The ironic thing is that there are moms who question every stage of their pregnancy, examining what they did wrong to perhaps cause their precious baby to struggle so, and then there are women who become pregnant and don’t receive prenatal care, stop drinking or using drugs, and they go on to deliver healthy, full term babies in the back of a taxi. Some things we just don’t have that much control over, and even when we do everything right, watch everything that goes into our mouths, take every prenatal vitamin prescribed, receive the best prenatal care, have a well-designed delivery plan…things still may not happen as we expect.  Yet, we guilt ourselves that WE, the MOTHER, are responsible for things going off plan!  Why do we do that to ourselves?

Our expectations of OURSELVES is astounding and disproportionate to what we are capable of doing and what we have control of. I write this not just for you moms out there with mom guilt but for myself as well, because I am just as much a victim of inflated expectations that no one should hold themselves to. Let’s ask ourselves this question when we get in our loop…what will happen if I don’t worry about this today or if this doesn’t get done?  Will it negatively impact my child or our family if this doesn’t happen?  How much extra value does this add to my child’s life or to my family’s life?

Because in the end, we all have fond memories and memories we wish to forget…those from our childhood and those from our parenting experiences!  The truth of the matter is that our children will also have fond memories and memories they wish to forget.  None of us is perfect, and being a mom is hard work! Let’s all take some of the pressure off ourselves and reduce the expectations…because, as I humbly admit, none of us will EVER be perfect. So let’s release the guilt, support each other as moms, recognize the fluff for what it is, and just do the best job we can of loving our sweet angels!

To all those moms out there that are trying to give their babies, both big and small, the best life there is, always remember YOU are one of your child’s most treasured gifts.  Even with all your imperfections, you will always be their one and only MOM.